December 17, 2011

Where Have I Been

Two people in the past couple weeks have said I have changed. That I'm not the same happy cheery girl I used to be. It seems to bring them concern. Granted my life has changed a lot. My world seems to have gotten smaller. Not as many willing friends to take me out or hang out. Not near the Human interaction I once had. I used to be able to sit with pen and paper and write 200+ names of people I knew. Most I had seen within the past few months.  Now there may be a dozen. Being home a lot makes it hard to reconnect. I can't expect everyone to reach out to me. I so miss my church.

Any thoughts? Is there anyone to take me to church?

October 15, 2011

What's It To Me What They Do?

Crazy friends or family who do dumb things, people I look up to who let me down, or even those I really care for who don't reach my expectations or maybe even hurt me. These are the things the devil uses to mess with my mind the most. Can you relate?

Aside from my own failings, short comings and missed opportunities, these have found their way into my thoughts and added a great deal of weight to my existence.

However the title for this note has been resurfacing from time to time over the past few days, so it seemed like the Lord was telling me it was time to write it down. Funny thing is, I haven't done a lotta writing lately. Maybe even in the past few years. I used to write all the time. Sweet beautiful, intense times alone with God. Seemed like He was guiding my pen on my journal, or keyboard. Sometimes when the tears dried, I'd read what the pen had written and be astonished and nearly, if not totally fall apart again.  It was those words, I knew, did NOT come from inside me. I was merely a tool for the Lord to get the message out... to help me and others get closer to the Truth... to see things how they really were and not just how they appeared to be.

Unfortunately, what Jesus said about the "cares of this world" weighing you down and choking out the good Seed growing in your heart is true. Distractions are everywhere. Its a huge battle! Even good things can be a distraction from the Best. Especially when you let thoughts of those you care about get in the way of the Voice of the One who cares for you the most.

Jesus said this to let him know what kind of death he would die to glorify God. Then Jesus told him, "Follow me." 20 Peter turned around and saw the disciple Jesus loved following them -- the one who had leaned over to Jesus during supper and asked, "Lord, who among us will betray you?" 21 Peter asked Jesus, "What about him, Lord?" 22 Jesus replied, "If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You follow me." 23 So the rumor spread among the community of believers that that disciple wouldn't die. But that isn't what Jesus said at all. He only said, "If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you?" - John 21:19-23 NLT

This may seem off topic, but i think its this passage that has kept coming up and possibly getting me ON topic. Every day, within us we inquire, "What about him? What about her? What about this or that?" When Jesus clearly demonstrates, frankly, that is pretty much none of my business what He does with someone else.

Many times in my life, I've been called a "fixer." I didn't really understand what that meant until recently.When I was a kid and my mom and sister would argue and shout at each other, I thought I had to be the "peace-maker." Sometimes referee. Sometimes arbitrator. Remember, "blessed are the peace-makers?" I took that literally. Later I learned that Scripture meant those who bring peace between God and Man, but that's another topic.

It just seems so natural to me and maybe even some kind of obligation when I see a hurt or a wrong, I have to do what I'm able to do to make it write! Can anyone relate? I guess I really didn't see it for what it was until the other day. My husband was talking about something that was bothering him. Just as a matter of conversation, I came back with some sort of explanation or "solution" to his problem. Maybe I didn't even think it through. It just seemed obvious. That's when he called me a "fixer."  It seems he just wanted me to listen.Not "fix it!" Have you been there? I felt horrible. (Rightly so.)

That's when this theme started permeating my mind. Then there was a perceived rejection by a dear friend. Then another caught in a endless pattern of destructive behavior. Then other loved ones who did shocking and unexpected things. Still others who have no place for my input based on Scripture. (I'm too black and white.)

Dwelling on these things can really make you NUTZ!! Times like that lately is when the timeless Word rises in my heart: "Live carefree before God; he is most careful with you." - 1 Peter 5:7 MSG  So, maybe you ask yourself, "Then what am I s'posed to do? Do I just act like I don't give a darn about these people who are either hurting, blind, or ignorant? Aren't I supposed to help when I can?" I ask that a lot. Sub-consciously and demonstrate it in my actions, or words mostly.

A good friend told me a long time ago, and sometimes I forget, "They only need one Savior." and "You can't be Holy Spirit Jr."  Basically, "Whats it to you?" Only God can help them. Then we're back to the first question. (I was asking God this morning) What am I supposed to DO???? So graciously the Voice I'd longed for came with this gentle reminder. "He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." - Micah 6:8

Isn't it just like our Beautiful God to take our jumbled up thoughts and circumstances and just make it SO simple!! What is there NOT to LOVE about Him???

Resting My Cares in Him,

PS  I don't mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection! But I keep working toward that day when I will finally be all that Christ Jesus saved me for and wants me to be. 13 No, dear brothers and sisters, I am still not all I should be, but I am focusing all my energies on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, 14 I strain to reach the end of the race and receive the prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us up to heaven. - Philippians 3:12-14 NLT

June 21, 2011

He Carried Me

Tonight I watched The Majestic. Small town gutted by WW2 losses finds a man w/ amnesia washed up on a beach & suddenly they think he's one of their war heros lost 9yrs ago. You'd have to see that movie to see what he did for that town, when he didn't even know who he was.
I guess that got me thinking (too much) about how quickly things can happen & you can't physically do anything about it. But God can and does so often step in with ways you couldn't imagine.
During this thought process the enemy started flooding my mind w/ "what if?" type pictures of my life changing an instant! I almost started to fear but said Jesus help me! Just about overwhelmed I turned on my Christian music. 4Him was cued up but it just didn't seem right. Scrolled and stopped on Building 429.
After about the 2nd song I knew I was rescued! It was called You Carried Me. As it played I began thanking the Lord for carrying me all through my life. So many praise worthy pictures came when I closed my eyes.
So much when I lived alone. Like when my first helper left, who I loved so dearly. I told the Lord I couldn't bare to sit at home and watch her leave the last time. The 1st new prayer meeting at church got scheduled on the same night! So we both left at the SAME time!
Then a couple yrs later, I was home alone and started having to go #2 SO bad! So bad it hurt. I prayed a lot. Knew that only Jesus could send someone cuz I didn't know anyone to call. Sure enough, after taking tylenol, piling on pillows and trying to go to sleep, the door bell rang. It was my 1st helper! Hadn't seen her in months! Honestly I was so shocked to see her I didn't tell her my need right away. Got told about it later too. ;)
There was the time my niece came for New Yrs. God sent virtual strangers to my door w/ 2 bags of groceries cuz found out she was staying. But what they DIDN'T know was the next 2 or 3 days we were snowed in. Worst blizzard in Yrs! NO one could get there. That food was what we ate!
Then came May 2008. A tornado skipped over our place. When the glass window moved I went down the hall to the windowless bathroom. Bill knew I was scared. He followed me...put his hand on my shoulder...looked at me w/ the Love of God and said" don't worry. We have angels!" At that second ALL the fear just drained out! Arby's down the street was flat. But we had no damage of our unit.
No matter what u might go through, or be in now, there might be NOTHING you can do about it. But seriously, if you can lay down your plans and your "What ifs" and your fears (worry doesn't help anyway) get on your knees and give your life and all your stuff to Jesus. Trust me. He knows how to deal with it even better that u do. What have you got to lose but a little insomnia? :) If u really give it all to Him, He will change things. And if u let Him...He will carry you.

April 13, 2011

How Long Will it Take?

by Rebecca D Thames

Found this note over on FB and thought I oughtta share it w/ my readers here too. Not sure if you all are over there on FB or not. Hope it helps or encourages someone. See additional note at bottom.

Posted on Facebook on Friday, February 4, 2011 at 1:20pm

Last night was an especially painful one. The fact that I'm able to reach the keyboard is practically miraculous in itself. When my helper went to the store and Hubby was still sleeping, a song started to rise up in my heart. An OLD Twila Paris tune. Very simple but profound. "Oh,Lord...You have been good. You have been faithful to all generations. Oh Lord, Your steadfast Love and tender Mercies have been our Salvation. For by Your Hand we have been fed. And by You Spirit, we have been led...Oh Lord..."

Such a simple yet profound song of acknowledgement and praise to our God Who IS the sustainer of EVERYTHING! Just welling up inside me as that song rang out in my spirit... the recollection of last night. How many times and how many hours my precious and devoted husband worked and struggled to get me out of pain. He was so stressed. Seemed so little he did hard and long as he tried. So much love restrained him from simply throwing up his hands in despair. He kept trying and kept trying...till the wee hrs of the morning. It was 4 when I just couldn't handle any more of the day. He was too stressed to sleep. I don't know when he went to bed.

Remembering this today, along with the words to that song, the Lord whispered another reminder in my heart. A long time ago I was given a promise from Him, that there WOULD be arms to hold me. But I MUST remember it would be my FATHER"S Love that would flow though those arms. I took that as a Holy Promise that I would be married one day. 13yrs later, He fulfilled that promise through Bill. Last night became a powerful illustration......

How long have I been broken spiritually...perhaps in pain but too tense to even KNOW if all the attempts my Loving Father are making to heal me are working, or maybe even have gone unappreciated??? How many times has He tried to comfort me but I'm so caught up in my misery that I can't even receive it.... or maybe don't even NOTICE! How many times have I turned to a pain killer, muscle relaxer, or decongestant, rather than the One who can Actually FIX me???

Thats EXACTLY what Bill was trying to do last night. He tried and tried and used so much energy. The revelation this morning was, only GOD can "fix" me. So I prayed and asked Him to fix me. What ever that means. Now I wonder how many things need fixing that ONLY HE knows about.


After reading that, this came to me. There are so many spiritual things broken or left unfinished. No band-aid or pill would ever cure or treat these. Today, while listening to another song, "let it rain," the prayer started from inside... "Lord rain on us and reign IN us. For without your Reign AND Your Rain we will never be what You want us to be." Now while writing this, it seems apparent that without Jesus Reigning as King and Lord and having complete Rule over me, I quite possibly NEVER benefit from His Rain, aside from a fleeting burst of pleasant emotion. So if you beg for God to "Show you His Glory" or "Let It Rain" or "Let the River Flow" and you just LIVE from weekend to weekend to get that rush... Just maybe its time to examine who's Reigning Monday-Thursday (or Sat).

January 06, 2011

What's New This Year?

Happy New Year!!

Well, in 5 days, my husband and I will officially be married for 8 whole yrs! Its a real milestone for both of us, for several reasons.

  1. In his 1st marriage, which was rather unstable, they were never together for even 1 whole yr at a time. Not to mention 8!
  2. Eight is the number for new beginnings. (Greek definition I think)
  3. We finally over the proverbial "7-yr-hump" that supposedly breaks up a lot of marriages.
Today, I just started to wonder, what really is new about this year. Aside from the obvious change of date that is. I mean, do you ever get to where you feel like all the days sort of run together. What is going to set this yr apart from the last, or will it just be the same, or business as usual?

This morning I heard a very inspiring message. "Words of Kindness, Source of Healing." This message by Florence Littauer gripped my heart and reminded me how important encouraging and inspiring others is.

One thing new this year, I want to make a new commitment to encourage and inspire. The program said our words of kindness are like little silver boxes with a ribbon on top. Gifts and treasures to be sure. Especially considering how many thousands of cruel, unkind or just plain sour words people here all the time. Words that drain life from them. Sometimes something as simple as a smile, or maybe a question that shows you REALLY want to know how they're doing, is all it might take to help someone through the day.

Another new thing about this year is I want to keep better track of God's blessing. I'm learning that if I'm greatful and giving thanks to God, I sure won't be able to grumble, complain, or dwell on things I might think are "wrong" in my day, or my life.

First blessing to record was a surprise visit last night. My old friend Mary was in the area and decided to stop by. Shes really sweet and I've known her over half my life, but seldom see her.

The next blessing is something that happened today. After several days of severe pain in my left side that left me nearly immobile, I was finally feeling good enough to change clothes get freshened up a bit. Hoping tomorrow will be even better. :)

So tell me, what's new about this year to you???? I'd love to here your story.