It is said of the Lord, the Alpha and Omega, He is the beginning and the end. He is the first and last. There is none other beside Him. But sometimes, in my eyes, there is one.
In the beginning, He is there. Before I was, He was creating me. He formed me in my mother's womb. Every hair was numbered. Every detail in place to sustain my life outside the womb. He overlooked nothing. In thebeginning, He "was." He is the Alpha.
In the middle, I am here. Seeing my life from such a finite perspective. Often putting my hopes and plans ahead of the One Who set me in motion in the beginning. I see things so clearly, as they ought to be. Or so it seems. Sometimes, when things don't go my way, in my own eyes there is one beside God...That one is me.
In the mean time, I go about struggling, confused, anxious and very, very alone. Often too afraid to take another step, yet more fearful still of going backward, or standing still. Even at times unaware of replacing the rightful Inhabitant of the Throne of my heart, thinking instead perhaps the Lord is leading me here or there... perhaps it is a test of my faith, or my strength. But my strength quickly fails, because it is being drawn from the wrong source.
In reality, I've set my eyes on a goal or a prize that is not the Lord, but some "thing" I desire. Be it a worthy goal, or not; be it a love or a work, or even a necessity. Nonetheless, if it is sought after more diligently than the One from the beginning, it has become the one I worship.
Until that "thing" is cast down from the throne, I can not truly worship the One Who is truly worthy. Jesus said we can not serve two masters. "You shall have no other gods before Me" has been said from the beginning. Meanwhile, He waits, powerless to give me all that is rightfully mine, until I give Him all that is rightfully His...complete rule and authority and my heart, despite the outcome or apparent consequences. And even when I may not fully acknowledge Him, even in the clouded, confused middle... He "is."
In the end, after I've tried everything I know to make things work, hold on to past blessings, or even fix things for others... after I realize within myself there is nothing... nothing worthwhile or worthy of praise... no goal so lofty, no love so precious, no work so worthy... worthy of all my strength or allegiance... after I come to the end of myself... in the end He is there... He is the Omega.